do i have the faith to believe that everything happens for certain reasons; am i able to accept the unknown with willingness, enthusiasm and grace; can i throw out the idea that life has steadfast plans, and live day by day guided by goals and dreams with a healthy dose of optimism? i will no longer regret past mistakes, as i have made my confessions, nor will i analyze the future, for we cannot predict the unknown, but i will live solely in the present, for it is given to me now.

when they look at me, let them see the smile in my eyes.
"a pretty blue," they'll conclude
yet, not about my eyes,
but my heart, blue and torn,
torn apart.
"but i'm not afraid," i will say
and they'll know it's true,
for now.
I'll keep dreaming that this world
will someday come together
and love each other...
but until then, i'll keep on smiling with my eyes.
i will make new friends,
new beginnings,
make amends,
fix the endings of the past
so the blue may fade and go away
and optimism will be all that remains,
then they will really see me smile
and i will be me again.

the wall grows
with each brick laid.
the cracks are filled
with mortar.
no doors were laid out in the plan.
soon the wall will be too high too climb, too strong to knock down, too permanent to ignore.
brick after brick.
higher, more dense.
continuing until the wall is a part of life, as if it had always existed.
until i no longer remember the hurt
and discover what it feels like
to not care.