sometimes.
sometimes i am afraid,
but i am still excited.
sometimes i feel pushed into a corner,
but at others, i feel on top of the world.
i want to thrive in certain moments,
but sometimes i just want to exist.
i want to matter to the world,
but more importantly i want the world
to matter to me.
i want to worry about the real things in life
and forget about the superficial quandaries
that filtrate what is or at least could be real.
sometimes i wish for more
instead of seeing everything i have.
and i want to believe
and never stop,
but not just sometimes,
always.

bruised, bashed, and bandaged
by seemingly smaller and smaller strands of hope.
hiding underneath a feign fantasy in which the world
really cares and that sincerity and kindness
are not over rated, but exist in purity.
this desirable dream diminishes daily
and another thread breaks.

today is extraordinarily different
yet exactly the same as yesterday,
like all days...
dramatic
yet lame.
busy but slow
incredibly confused
but knowing all the answers.
i am ready for tomorrow.
to jump
not up or down
but far
and away from myself
from the sadness that i am drowning in.
i want to be clear
without knowing the answers
and i want to believe
even against the odds
to see
in complete blindness
to trust without fear.
today is exactly the same as yesterday,
yet extraordinarily different.

let not your eyes deceive you.
simply understand
what is as certain
as the sun's passing by.

uncomplicate the truth.
do not make it more,
do not make it less.
make it real, make it known.

i close my eyes and dream about nothing
so when i awake i dream about everything.
inspire me
and make me want to inspire you.
stranded in a world filled with strangers,
filled with friends
trying to do more than just survive.
i'm not ready to lose my faith yet.

i smile as i sing along
today the radio plays some of my favorite songs
if you were here, i would ask you to dance
you might say no, but i would risk the chance
and i would twirl and glide
all in stride
i know if you saw me
you would laugh endlessly
but i would entice you with my silliness
and before you knew what happened,
you would be asking me to dance

do i have the faith to believe that everything happens for certain reasons; am i able to accept the unknown with willingness, enthusiasm and grace; can i throw out the idea that life has steadfast plans, and live day by day guided by goals and dreams with a healthy dose of optimism? i will no longer regret past mistakes, as i have made my confessions, nor will i analyze the future, for we cannot predict the unknown, but i will live solely in the present, for it is given to me now.